It's all a matter of perspective.

Thursday, September 19, 2002

Perhaps you remember this story of dental misfortune?

Well, yesterday afternoon I had to go back to the chair and have some stuff fixed. I had to have my four front upper teeth crowned because I grind my teeth while I sleep. Those four had gotten so thin that they were breaking off bit by bit. I had never had a tooth crowned, let alone four at a time, so I had no idea what I was in for. Looking back on my experiences yesterday, it was basically like two and a half hours in a medieval torture chamber. I would have gladly given them any secrets that they wanted. I have never been in so much pain in my life. My lip and my nose were completely numb, but where the dentist was working was on my teeth and gums. Those were feeling pain just fine, thank you. I tried to complain and get more anesthetic injected, but the jerk just put another shot into my upper lip.

After whittling my teeth down to nubs, he had to pack these small pieces of string around each tooth between the tooth and the gum. This was the most painful thing that I have ever had to go through. I had tears streaming down my face. I was moaning like a poltergeist. The dentist says, “Ooh I just can’t stand to see you in such pain!” and gives me another injection in the upper lip.

The temporary crown that they put on is one piece and stretches across all four teeth. It is right in the front, so I can hardly talk. I sound like a little kid wearing an orthodontic retainer. When I answer the phone at work I usually say, “Call Center, this is Nathan.” Today it has been, “Caw thinter thishish Nasan.”

Until they get the permanent crowns on I can not eat anything that I have to bite into. No apples, no ribs, no chips and dip, but worst of all . . . No sandwiches. I do not know how I am going to go three weeks with no sandwiches.

And did I mention that my mouth feels like I chewed up a mouthful of safety glass - all cut up and sore.

I am going to start being more selective about what I allow those jerks to do to my mouth.

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