It's all a matter of perspective.

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

This blog turns two years old this month. If memory serves, that is about the time to start potty training. Therefore you can look for much more cursing here in the future.

Actually, as you can tell from my recent output, you cannot look for much of anything here in the near future. Did I loose interest? Perhaps a little. More accurately I lost time. When I started this blog I was working at a call center where I never left my desk and had a fair amount of free time each day. Since then I have been moved to Network Support and I spend very little time at my desk and rarely get caught up on my work.

Furthermore, when I started this blog I fancied myself a Writer. I was studying writing at university, surfed monster.com and the classifieds every week for writing jobs, and wrote essays, short humor pieces and poems all of the time for my pleasure and amusement. I have since gotten over it. Not that I wouldn’t still love to write for a living, I have just been forced to face the reality that it is not likely any time soon.

Why is it not likely? Well, had I finished my writing degree and sought work as a technical writer in the market in which I live, I would have had to take a pay cut. Now perhaps this is honorable for some people, but not for those of us who have three other people to provide for and live paycheck to paycheck.

In addition to leaving me with little time to write for pleasure, my new job also left me with little time for homework. My grades quickly turned in to the kind that gets you kicked out of school. Rather than giving the establishment that pleasure, I said, “You can’t fire me, I quit!”

Then we sold our house and moved across town to a fixer-upper that had twice as much room. I spent six months pouring all of my free time into making this vintage 1940 worn out house our comfortable and modern home. I finished that up (ha! You never finish fixing up a house) just in time for my wife to get pregnant and sick. My sweet wife lives with 24 hours a day of vomiting for her first trimester. She had to move home to her mother’s house in order to be cared for, and to have someone to care for our little boy.

This led us into a three month period that I like to refer to as The Dark Ages. I found out that our house has the sparsest of insulation, and is impossible to heat in the winter time. A $300 gas bill led me to turn the Thermostat all the way down and close off the entire house except for my room, where I stayed in the bed, layered in clothes, huddling over an electric radiatior, watching the history channel or Democrat Primary coverage on MSNBC. One night I found myself wide awake in bed at 3:00 AM on a work night (morning) watching some show about the illuminati or something on TV, smoking a cigarette (I don’t smoke, let alone in the house) and drinking from a plastic half-gallon jug of Heaven Hill Vodka. This was the moment I realized that my family had to return to me, and soon.

Luckily they did return pretty soon after that. Miss J got to feeling much better and at this point is about ready to have that kid. We went to the doctor today. Only about two more weeks.

Another strain on my already tight schedule has been this rock-and-roll band that I joined, Cosmic Debris. We play most original tunes and I could not be more proud of our music. All of the guys in the band are top notch musicians (excepting me) and furthermore, are all cool guys to hang out with. We are well rehearsed, tight, and even enjoy a modest following of about 40-50 people per gig.

You might think that this would translate into more work than we can handle, but that is just not the case. Booking gigs in Little Rock has turned out to be the most frustrating experience of my life. I have played in a lot of bands, and this is the by far the best I have ever been associated with. We play songs we write, and we play them well. I have seen all of the groups that get regular gigs in Little Rock (I used to cook at a popular bar) and we are better than 90% of them. I just don’t understand why doors keep slamming in our face. We don’t expect to sign a deal with Epic and move to Los Angeles. We just want to be able to play live a couple of times a month.

So, aren’t you glad I haven’t been writing to you much lately.