As we all bask in the glow of this holy and righteous righting of the country, allow yourself a few minutes to contemplate the brave and honest voters of our God-fearing land who stood in line, against all odds, to make their voice heard.

Go here to hear a series of interviews with Arkansas voters. Their knowledge of the issues and cunning intellect cuts to the bone.

I have two favorites, and of course, they save the best for last. First is insufferable honkey, Leotis Smith, who has never voted for a republican, but reminds us that the country is not ready for an African American in the White House, "I'm onna tell ya, I wonna furhurrrepiden - I jus not ready fur it, I not ready fur it myself."

And finally, a sweet lady at the Bus Stop named Darlene, who isn't voting this year. Not because of her multiple felonies, but because, "I ain't getting shit." When the reporter points out that Obama is an African American candidate, she takes issue, "His Mammy White!"

I have two new things to tell you about. First of all, I have discovered the greatest blog off all time, ever. It is captivating. I cannot stop reading it. The best satire I have seen in a long time. My favorite parts are the incredulous commenters. Some people are so gullible to think that they can correct this person. Pure Genius.

The second thing I wanted to mention is that I only fuel my vehicles from this source.

It was really Exciting. That is me on the guitar.

Can You Name Them All?

For my DF8 Friends and The Cap'n

This what I am talking about.

Bottom to top:
Hand Sliced and Buttered Marble Rye Toast
Golden's Mustard
Havarti Cheese
Leaf Lettuce
Tomato
Kosher Salt
Turkey
Ham
Salami
Cappicola
Soppresetta
Home Made Refrigerator Dill Chips
Fresh Ground Pepper
Minced Red Onion
Alfalfa Sprouts
Mayonnaise

Nothing makes me happier.

Miss J went to go see her sweet Maw tonight, so Wylie, Miles and I had us a guy's night. We started off with some video games and cartoons, then we had a feast of mac and cheese with fried bacon. With an hour or so to kill until bed time, Wylie suggested we have a jam session. Miles replied, "Yeah, come on Daddoe, let's start a BAND!!"

So I got my acoustic guitar, Wylie choose my mandolin, and Miles brought a mystery bugle. Our rule was, when a song is done, pass your instrument to the right. Whoever felt like singing was the band leader.



Here is a recording of our grand finale. It was written by Miles and features him on mando and lead vocals, Wylie on mystery bugle, and The Dadoe on guitar and backup vocals. The title of the song is, Eat Spinach All Day. Be sure and notice Wylie's note of punctuation at the end.

From me to Albert Gore

My best buddy Dan sent me a link to this really cool Sound Pressure Decibel Level Chart. It starts with the quietest sound ever measured and works its way up to the loudest. The first entry reads:

-80 UNDERWATER NUCLEAR SUBMARINE MICROPHONES LISTENING TO SHRIMP CHEWING ON FOOD AT 100 METERS DISTANCE

Now that is pretty quiet, right. As it moves up the list, some of the louder things tend to sound familiar:

116 HUMAN BODY BEGINS TO PERCIEVE VIBRATION IN THE LOW FREQUENCIES

117-123 HOME STEREO SYSTEM, A VERY LOUD AND POWERFUL 200-2000 WATTS

120-130 FRONT ROW AT A ROCK CONCERT- UP TO 200 REFRIGERATOR SIZE SPEAKERS AND 50000-300000 WATTS OF CLEAN, FULL FREQUENCY SOUND

125 DRUM SET-ONLY AT THE MOMENT OF STRIKING, CONTINOUS LEVEL

127 HUMAN TINNITUS (RINGING IN THE EARS) BEGINS

That seems about like my experience. Sit on the front row of a Rock and Roll show, or sit next to a loud drummer in band rehearsal and the low frequencies will make your pants legs vibrate. Also, your ears ring that night and maybe the next day or two. (If the drummer was Lee Susky.)

Things start to get real loud after that.

148 HUMAN VIBRATION VERY UNCOMFORTABLE AND SLIGHTLY PAINFUL

149 HUMAN LUNGS AND BREATHING BEGINS VIBRATING TO THE SOUND

150 ROCK CONCERT “THE WHO” TWO 10 STORY STACKS = 144 DOUBLE REFRIDGERATOR SIZED SPEAKERS

I love The Who, but I am not really sure why you would want a concert experience to be very uncomfortable and slightly painful, let alone VERY UNCOMFORTABLE AND SLIGHTLY PAINFUL. On the other hand, having my breathing vibrating to the sound might be kinda neat.

(Side note: Once in college I was rehearsing with my band, Electric Church, at the HSU Phi Lamb house during the summer break. We were under the influence of moderate amounts of various mood enhancers, and mostly working on 'Jam in E' for about 40 minutes at a stretch. There was this old ceiling fan in the room. One of those big ol' heavy ones that vibrated back and forth at a moderate tempo. After about an hour of rehearsal we realized that no matter what tempo the song started, soon enough the ceiling fan would be playing quarter notes for us.)

Now this is the part for Al Gore. The loudest sound ever recorded on the earth.

310 KRAKATOA VOLCANO ERUPTION-1883 A.D.

• CRACKED ONE FOOT THICK CONCRETE AT 300 MILES
• CREATED A 3000 FOOT TIDAL WAVE
• HEARD 3100 MILES AWAY
• SOUND PRESSURE CAUSED BAROMETERS TO FLUCTUATE WILDLY AT 100 MILES INDICATING LEVELS OF AT LEAST 170-190 DB AT THIS DISTANCE
• EVEN WHEN SHOUTING IN SOMEONES EAR, COULD NOT BE HEARD AT 100 MILES
• CAUSED FOG TO APPEAR AND DISAPPEAR INSTANTLY AT HUNDREDS OF MILES
• ROCKS WERE THROWN TO A HEIGHT OF 34 MILES.
• DUST AND DEBRIS FELL CONTINUOUSLY FOR 10 DAYS AFTER BLAST.
• PRODUCED VERY COLORFUL SUNSETS FOR ONE YEAR
• EJECTED 4 CUBIC MILES OF THE EARTH
• CREATED ANTI-NODE OF NEGATIVE PRESSURE AT THE EXACT OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE EARTH
• SOUND COVERED 1 / 10 OF THE WORLDS SURFACE
• SHOCK (SOUND) WAVES “ECHOED” AROUND THE EARTH 36 TIMES AND LASTED FOR ABOUT A MONTH!

This explosion was so loud, so amazing, so destructive, that it not only warrants all caps, but an exclamation point too!

I am pretty sure that this represents more pollution than human kind can put into the air, even with our grandest doomsday machines. Notice this it caused pretty sunsets, not the flooding of Manhattan.