It's all a matter of perspective.

Thursday, August 01, 2002

A brief history of the world


1521 BC – This guy in Africa got eaten by a crocodile.

1111 BC – People worldwide have a year-long opportunity to make a wish. Unfortunately the lack of a calendar keeps most from doing so.

537 BC – The plumbing that is in widespread use in central China very much resembles the plumbing still in use there to this day.

335 BC - Greek bronzesmith Adolpholus Philosophocles becomes the first person to use phrase, “Women, can’t live with them, can’t live without them.”

27 BC – Persian Hamed Felafel bounces a 2 shilling check for some quat.

0 BC/AD – Jesus Christ, did you see that?

134 AD – Some Romans whooped the mess out of some Germans and took their mead.

234 AD – Some Germans whooped the mess out of some Romans and took their daughters.

569 AD – During a particularly hot August, English farmer Richard Merdelshire becomes the first person to remark, “It’s not the heat so much as it is the humidity”

866 AD – Frenchman Jean Luc Jiedioux encounters a group of lost German Monks in the forest near his farm and surrenders all of his possessions to them. Jiedoux then help them relocate their monastery and asks to be locked in the basement.

1111 AD – Once again people worldwide have the year-long opportunity to make a wish. Most wish for deliverance from the Black Death. Unfortunately, it is later discovered that the calendar is off by three years, therefore the wishes are not granted

c. 1650 AD - People in Europe discover art and music.

1776 AD – People in America discover freedom.

1913 AD – People in America loose it again.

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