Actual Quotes from the dumb redneck who used to sit in the cubicle next to me. Theses are things he actually said to customers with computer or phone problems.
"I Ain’t never heard of that error message before.”
“You done gone and forgot to deselect it. That’ll take care of that message right there.”
"You cain’t do it that way, I just set here and tried.”
“Ain’t there a movie called that, 'A bunch to do about Nothin’”
“Hold on thar’. My Fangars ain’t wantin to work that fast.”
“Well, My computer just went tits up.”
“That phone could ring an infintesimal number of times.”
To a user that complained they could not connect to the network he said, "Well join the club!"
Actual text copied from a trouble ticket that he typed up and emailed to our phone company (They sent it right back for translation.)
“Callers can not the person answering the phone for about a second or two the number is 18006224472 aden 21384”