It's all a matter of perspective.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Miss J asked me to share five weird things about myself. Unfortunately, I am perfectly normal. Therefore, here are five fun facts!

1.)I have a built in thermo-nuclear heat plant in my body. I radiate heat like a gas grill. Even on the coldest nights of the winter, I cannot get under more than one blanket. Pajamas are a complete waste for me; I can never sleep in more than a t-shirt and boxer shorts. In the summertime I sleep on top of the covers with two fans pointed at me. I start sweating at the least amount of exertion. I never put on a coat. Yet, oddly enough, I smell great!

2.)I am a musician and a music lover, but I have no interest in 99% of contemporary artists. There is nothing on MTV, VH1, or CMT that I want to hear. Indie Rock makes me want to put my fingers in my ears. Most of what passes for Jazz these days is elevator music. Most of what passes for Country is (for the male vocalists) bad rock sung in a cornpone accent or (female vocalists) songs that were cast-off by Celine Dion. Contemporary Christian is like bad modern Country, but without the fake accent and fiddles. Thank God that Sting, Tom Petty, Paul Simon, Dwight Yoakum, Ricky Skaggs, Bruce Hornsby, Buddy FREAKING Miller, John Scofield, Bela Fleck, and other all-time favorites are still making records.

A few exceptions to prove the rule: John Mayer, John Legend, Anthony Hamilton, Ryan Adams.

3.)I love to cook, and I have a lot of classical cooking knowledge and a few skills. I can make some fancy-smancy meals. But my favorite thing to prepare and eat is sandwiches. Big sandwiches with lots of stuff inside - that are almost too big to bite into. Today for lunch I had a sandwich with spicy mustard, homemade pickles, Swiss cheese, leftover pork loin, tomatoes, alfalfa sprouts, rice vinegar, and mayo on sourdough bread. As usual, it was the shiz.

4.)I refuse to ever make a car payment. I drive jalopies that I either pay a small amount of cash for, or are handed down to me from family members when they are too old and unreliable for them to drive. Right now I driving a ’96 Buick Regal that was my mee-maw’s, then my mom’s, and now has a quarter of a million miles on it. Sometimes it does not start for weeks, and I am stuck bumming rides everywhere until it magically heals itself. I still prefer this to a car payment.

My last car was a 93 Chrysler New Yorker/5th Ave. I gave $1200 for it. The next morning on my way to work a lady ran a stop sign and hit me in the side. A week later I got an insurance check for $1200. FREE CAR!! Who cares if it has a huge dent in the side and one of the back doors does not open. After a year or so, My mom passed down the Buick and I gave the Chrysler to my Hippie Brother-in-law. He drove it for a week; when suddenly the radiator came completely apart while driving down in freeway. By the time he got it to the side of the road, the head was cracked. It never ran again.

5.)Any time I sign a guestbook at a wedding, or a funeral, at the door to a government building, or am asked to sign a petition, or fill out a visitor card at a church – I always put “Jerry Garcia, Haight St. & Ashbury St., San Francisco, CA 94117”

I would be really interested to see what wierd things The Dude, Janna, and Currey would confess to . . .

11 comments:

Shani Thomas said...

Salut! Well, gotta tell you I'm with ya' on #4. I HATE car payments! I always drove a paid for car in the States. I mean, look at what the car actually costs you if you include the interest!!! A brand new car depreciates big time the moment you drive it off the lot. Ah...btw, I've learned that car payments are a relatively American phenomenon, very few people make car payments over here. Course, lot of people don't even have cars over here, no need to!

jeanetta said...

yum i want sandwiches next time we get together for dinner

Janna Y. Barber said...

I would love to get a photo of you and Ms J asleep, she with her hoodie pulled up over her head and you fanning yourself in boxers and tshirt! Y'all are definitely MFEO!

I will accept the challenge, but it may take a day or two since I also am COMPLETELY normal!

Capt. Flipout said...

Only 5? I'll try and limit my list.

J4 said...

After the Tornado of '97, the Presbyterian Church here gave me several hundred dollars (I forget exactly how much) to help replace my car so I could keep commuting to my job in Little Rock. I went down to one of the off-the-wall used car lots and got the guy to sell me a 1991 Ford Tempo for whatever the donation was. The car had belonged to a lady professor at Henderson State and had 92,000 miles on it. I went through tires, starters, alternators, radiators, mufflers, catalytic converters, and had to be towed more than once, but when that little beater finally gave up the ghost, it had 323,000 miles on it. Maybe I should buy everything with Presbyterian dollars!

Dad N. Law

YoMJ said...

I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Ok maybe not that long. So agree with you about the music. Who'd guess?
Great blog. And, oh ,yeah ,you are perfectly normal, as I am with my totally acceptable weird things.
Mom-in-law

Capt. Flipout said...

OK - I did mine. Challenge answered!

tracy said...

I need to start reading your blog ~ you crack me up. Not that I didn't know that already....

The dinners you cooked while I was there this summer were indeed some of the finest meals I've been privy to. I boasted to Adam about them, and he's already starting to make grocery lists in his head of things he wants to have on stock to spoil you & Jeru with. I was thinking ~ and that you can cook for us ~ hee hee ;) You do like prawns & shrimp, yes?

Capt. Flipout said...

Bet you'd buy a new car if it ran on GRAVY!

Capt. Flipout said...

So what happens when Chris Botti actually PLAYS with Sting?!?!

Nathaniel said...

I change the station.