hi, my name is george w. bush.
i'm the president of the united states of america.
i have a message to osama bin laden.
osama, im calling you out.
i want to meet with you at an agreed-upon location and i want to beat your ass.
man to man.
face to face.
i'm sick, quite frankly, of this cat and mouse kiddie game of hide and seek and i am giving you one week to stand up to me as a man and take the licking you so deserve.
if you're so badass, why don't you meet me, the american white devil, anywhere you want so i can slap that stupid look off your face.
i know you're probably thinking that this is a trap, that the armed forces of the united states, or the u.n., or the northern alliance will jump out from the bushes and capture your sorry ass, and imprison you.
but i'm hereby giving you temporary immunity. you have no excuse to decline this offer.
i swear upon my word as president, on my word as a Christian, on my word as an American citizen that your safety will be guaranteed up to your meeting with me. and if you survive the single handed texas asskicking that i will deliver on your person, i will assure your safety back into whatever dusty hole you're currently hiding in.
but the only way you'll get home is through me, osama, and only you would call that gopher hole home.
It's all a matter of perspective.
Wednesday, September 11, 2002
I realize that I tell you people all the time to read Tony Pierce, but this morning he sets a new standard in blogging. His first post for 9/11 is a letter from President Bush to Osama. I would really like to post the whole thing, but Ill let you click over and read it instead. Here is an excerpt: